just to let you know

2 World Wars and 1 World Cup

England has got a wonderful team and nothing else should matter, you think. But this doesn't keep chants like the one above from cropping up every 4 years.

The latest example is to be found on Adam Curry's Daily Sourcecode episode #400, where the ex-MTV VJ -unknowingly, Id say- put a very nice "Come on England" song on. I actually enjoyed the song, but then heard a line going something like "2 World Wars and 1 World Cup" - Hey, the England team doesn't need chants like that, football should rise above all this and entertain people with the sporting action and not with putting your head into historical sand. I mean, what's the point.

Come on, England, you can do it - this time without the history books.

Doctor - Who ?

I was such a lucky kid back in those childhood days in Aachen, Germany. We were one of the first trial houses that got connected to cable TV. Subsequently, I was able watch such cultural delights as "Nescafe UK Network Top 50" or "US College Football" on channels like Sky. But more importantly, I remember some presenters going on about a series called "Dr. Who" and some flying (telephone?) box. I wasn't particularly intrigued as you can tell and as a result Dr. Who remained a mystery to me. Until last weekend....

About 22 years later my anglo-teutonic curtain was finally lifted and I can now take advantage of the new "Dr Who" series on BBC One Television - and boy, did I enjoy it. All in all, episode 1 looked to me like a variation on Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy (this is supposed to be a compliment!). I thought the plot seemed interesting, the characters well-picked and the special effects, well, special.

Can't wait to the next episode - I think that's the best compliment the Who crew can get from me so far. Another plus is that it finally shakes up the TV Saturdays a little, something that was overdue.

(Un-)Heil Harry

How German newspapers reacted to Prince Harry's bad attempt of Nazi humour.

Deutsche Welle now boasts Klingon

Deutsche Welle, the german radio world service, has always been -despite its german roots- reknowned for their good sense of humour. In the past, for example, they presented us the Germanizer, an online test to become german instantly.

This time, the broadcaster reaches out to the 'stars far, far away' by offering Klingon as another official language that's offered on their website.

mooh, mäh, täterätätä

Now that I have become a prolific reader of toddler and baby books, I must admit that the difference in the spelling of pet noises puzzles me. While german dogs articulate themselves using "Wau-Wau" (which is also the name a baby usually gives a dog before it is able to say "Hund"), english dogs are stubbornly insisting on"Woof-Woof"ing away. English sheep make "Baaaa", while german ones simply "Määäh" away to their heart's content.

However, I have to admit that ducks ("Quack!") are far more language conform and our bilingual household appreciates this very much.

And finally, I simply cannot understand pig noises - I mean have you ever heard a pig making "Oink-Oink" ? Me neither, but I wonder what french dogs sound like...

Woolworths or "The Big V(iscious circle)"

Last Sunday, my wife, our daughter Milly and I went to the local "Big W" - a hypermarket branch of Woolworths plc. We needed to return an item we had bought days before and then choose something else.

We had to walk all the way to the back of the shop to get what we wanted - and therefore got quite a good idea of what this shop stocks. What caught my attention was this large selection of sweets and softdrinks. There were huge chocolate bars and masses of crisps to choose from. Softdrinks were all nicely arranged and assorted in the obvious buzzing freezers.

Despite the shop being fairly empty, we saw quite a lot of obese and overweight men and women pushing their way through these "aisles of sweetness". All of the se sweet treats were arranged perfectly for both kids and parents: easy to reach and near the exit.

I know that these consumers have brains and they should know what they're feeding themselves with. But with regard to all the negative news about british issues with overweightness and obesity - I wonder what Woolworths top-managers think what their contribution to our society's health is ? I think that consumers should call for far more responsible decision makers in these sort of companies. I also think that there is more than shareholder value.

And it doesn't even stop here: there are now various TV programmes dealing with people's weight problems. Do these TV channels care about the health of frustrated and unmotivated persons? Or does it merely make good telly and sells even more of the sweets their audiences stuff themselves with? A vicious circle.

recent wave of german right-wing spam

I felt very sad and embarrassed about the recent wave of right-wing spam coming from Germany (mainly from a uni mail server in Rostock which had been abused for this by an external person).

Yesterday, my work inbox received about 10 such dispicable messsages - no doubt I'll be greeted with more on Moday morning. A colleague forwarded me a message that he had been sent - not knowing what the german email was about and asking me for a translation. He thought it was a joke. I tried to explain to him what it was and how it potentially came to him - most likely because he works with me and he's in my adsressbook.

I guess it's just a taste of the things to come. Maybe the more this is being covered in news and made public, the quicker these people lose interest in distributing lies this way.

Smoke & Neighbours

Since our daughter has been born, my wife and I have become a bit more cautious in lots of ways. The other day for example, we could hear a fire alarm going off in one of the neighbouring flats.

Now all of you who have firealarms fitted in their flats and houses might have already experienced this: you cook something in the kitchen (or at least show some good will) and the smoke coming from the hob sets off the fire alarm.

The same seemed to happen to our neigbours downstairs and at first we didn't think any of it. But when the alarm was still going strong after about 5 minutes, I decided to go and check on the elderly couple downstairs.

I banged their door quite loudly and could clearly hear the firealarm when I was standing in front of the door. After some time - which seemed like an eternity to me - one of the two of them opened and gave me a startled and suprised look.

"Oh hello, it's you !" - she said.
"Hi - is everything alright?", I replied.

Unisono, both of them then said the golden words - as if this fact would have slipped my mind:
"yeah, it's just the fire alarm".
"I was worried", I said, "I almost called the fire brigade."
"Oh no! Thanks !".

Best thing was - fumes were still coming from the kitchen but the kitchen door stood wide open - making it impossible for the fire alarm to stop its noisy work.

All I can hope for is that our neighbours would so the same for us should they hear our alarm going off...

Ampelmann.de

On my recent trip to Berlin I came across the Ampelmann (traffic light man) shop in the Hackesche Höfe. This shop is dedicated to the green and red traffic men that were introduced in East Germany in 1961. Initially developed by a traffic psychologist, these figures were supposed to have a calming and relaxing influence on all people parting in road traffic.

After the wall fell, it was first decided to scrap the eastern traffic light men for the normed men of the west. After immense protests however by east Germans it was decided to keep the existing lights in place.

If you are in Berlin and decide to visit Hackesche Höfe, I would definitiely recommend to visit the lovely Ampelmann Shop. If not, there is always their Ampelmann online Kollektion (via email ordering service).

German Worm Boy Wonder (not)

The BBC claims that Germany secretly celebrates the Worm Boy Wonder in an article relating to the arrest of a young German who has admitted to have developed the lethal computer virus Sasser.

To my surprise the BBC names "tageszeitung" (taz) and "Tagesspiegel" as -what they think- credible sources with large media influence. Reality is quite different though. Both papers and news services are only representing a small (even local) part of the overall newspaper circulation figures in Germany. As far as their news services are concerned the situation is very much the same.

I don't know why the BBC thinks that any German could have any pride in a kid that damages computer systems in such a way. And if the Tagesspiegel and the left-wing Tageszeitung feel that this is an indication for a sudden talent boost or even an underestimation of our youth's skill set then that is simply their own interpretation.

Finally, I feel that BBC's Clare Murphy makes her biggest mistake by starting the article describing the economic situation of Germany in a rather pessimistic and negative way. It might be bad, but not desperate enough for Germans to blow the nationalistic trumpet in the way described - not that we would do this anyway.

Bank Holidays !

I hate bank holidays. Why ? Because the company I work for decided about 5 years back to give its employees 6 days and in return abolished 5 bank holidays (bar Christmas Day).

Well done to that company, you might say, but here I am, sitting in the office on a sunny Bank Holiday May Day while the world and his wife spend time in the parks with friends and/or family - consuming ales and spirits. Playing badminton, netball or whatever. Oh it's just not fair.

I can hear you asking why I didn't take the bank holiday off then ? Well, I wanted to avoid the busy roads and take the time off another day....

Oh just forget this article again, will you ? :-)

England and Germany: schooling systems in comparison

Some while ago I spoke with a good friend who is visiting an english school for one year.

Both of us used to complain a lot about the german school system that made us learn the same things again and again (even some days ago i had an argument with my teacher because we were writing exactly the same stuff in our excercise books as last year). He told me that he was learning much faster in England even if you count the handicap of the language. Another thing we argued a lot about with our teachers was that we only have a few chances to get active in form of workshops or by organizing events at our school in Germany. My friend told me that he is much happier in his english school. The pupils from his grade had the opportunity to organize a theatre play in the city's theatre, where he had to run the soundcheck. He also showed me some good short films which he made with a group of other pupils (something that would me interest a lot) who visited the school for one year as well. But the best thing that happened to him was that he got the offer to fly to the Olympic Games for his school, because he speaks four languages (german, english, russian and french). One of his tasks at the Olympic Games would be to interview V.I.P's in order to write an report about the games.

Of course this example is a bit extreme but my school here in Germany isn't even able to organize school events by themself rather than let the pupils organize them! It would be no problem to have something like a video workshop once a week. I even found out that our school would be able to rent a camera from an institution that had been founded for this reason.

Politicians discuss the German schooling system a lot at the moment, but i think that we are stilling working in the wrong direction. Politicians are trying to make primary schools to teach english in first grade and let high schools give exams earlier to pupils instead of teaching them more. In my opinion, the worst aspect in this discussion is that pupils -like me- who critizise the system and mention that we dont have enough possibilties at german schools are the minority. This is also shown by studies that made the german schooling system turn out to be completely useless. I hope that politicians will manage to solve these problems although when i wont have to cope with this anymore (I am now in grade 11 and I am going to make my exams in grade 13).

why I am a pacifist

For me, the current events in Iraq bring it all back again.

Back in 1993, I decided not to join the german army for the (back then) 13 months of mandatory service - a basic right every German is entitled to. Instead, I decided to work in a day care center for children with behavioural difficulties and hyperactivity. Working in such an environment taught me more about life and human beings than any army in the world could have.

I am not trying to fight the case for those soldiers who tortured and killed enemy fighters in such a despicable way. However this alarms me because I think there still is a thinking amongst the coalition forces that conflicts such as this are controllable. Of course, there are the Geneva Conventions to obey to - but to me, there is far more to it.

In a war, human beings are pushed far beyond they physical and phsychological limits - we can not expect them to act in a "whiter than white" way if we send them into a region where life threatening attacks are happening on a daily basis. The fact that some of these coalition soldiers were poorly trained and educated makes matters only worse. There certainly shouldn't have been a conflict in the first place, but it's too late to argue this case.

To me, the most important thing is that the coalition faces the facts, stops the rhetorics and prepares to hand over rule over the region as soon as possible.

German Easter Egg Tradition

Because it's Easter I thought I'd delight my readers with a fairly unknown Easter egg tradition my family keeps alive: the Easter Egg smashing ! It's actually fairly similar to Christmas Cracker opening...

Nothing serious or complicated (as you might expect from Germans). All the 2 participants have to do is
a) agree on the side of the egg to smash
b) put the egg into each players hand
c) whack them against each other

The person with an intact egg after the smashing is the winner.

Just like that ! Happy Easter !

translating booms in the EU

BBC correspondent Angus Roxburgh seems to have a problem with it.

Lamenting on that "the tower (nb. of Bable) grows and grows" and complaining that an estonian interpreter's work won't be understood back in her home country anyway (how insulting is that).

All in all an article that's written by someone who probably is not appreciating the versatility and differences of other languages.

But maybe he is right: let us all switch to English - at least we can then appreciate the multicultural views and opinions Brits have about people in "Europe" (as they say when they talk about the continent - almost suggesting they are not part of it) even more. This also shows that even geography and EU treaties suddenly gain a different perspective if looked at the british way.

Let's all go English - we don't know what we're missing.

A little motorway anecdote

On a recent car trip down to the Midlands area we went through a construction site on the motor way. While driving through it, I spotted a speed camera in the midst of it. To my surprise, I found the top of the camera covered by an orange hood. On the back of it (facing the driver's view) it simply said: "Out of service".

"How kind of them", I thought, "to let all drivers explicitly know that this camera won't work right now."

Entertainment Heroes

Sal and me very often talk about past TV and radio shows and entertainment heroes. In the early days (when we were 'courting' - as they used to say), this always ended in the same way: we were both telling each other who the TV entertainment heroes were during our youth years in separate countries.

After more than 6 years in the UK now, things have changes a bit for me - I am used and accustomed ( and bored with !) to most current TV celebs and presenters. However there is still the odd old TV persona that throws me (like Jimmy Saville :-)

What amazes me is that most TV presenters more or less have remained "prophets in their own countries". People here are surprised when I tell them that no one in Germany has ever heard of Michael Parkinson (top left), Terry Wogan or Jeremy Paxman. But has anyone here ever heard of german TV greats such as Thomas Gottschalk (top right), Guenther Jauch or even Harald Schmidt (yes, this name is real !).

A weird thing to get your head around when you grow up and you think that your whole entertainment world evolves around those people (or at least that's what you're made believe!).

So the final question for me then is: is there no european or world-spanning TV presenting celebrity in the same catgegory of those men above? David Letterman perhaps - he certainly has the farthest reach into global househols, I'd say.

Britain's Eurovision 2004 Entry

After last year's Gemini desaster ("Nil Points"), the british are approaching this year's pre-selection with a bit more structure. A whole bandwagon is touring several TV stations (TOTP), clubs and other venues to promote the contestants and build up to the grand domestic final.

The BBC has -like every year- its own Eurovision website. In true 1966 style the competition was named "Making your Mind up" (from the last winning UK song by Bucks Fizz). So does this mean that we'll hear about 1981 more often ? It probably does.

I'm just surprised this seems to be taken so seriously here in the UK. It appears some music pros seem to bear a grudge. I always thought that this is the job of the Germans. :-D

Things I love about the UK: bring your own bottle...!

It happened in a curry place in Coventry A.D. 1997. That's where I - for the first time in my life - brought my own bottle to a meal. To be precise, we're talking a 2 litre bottle of Cider here. After all, we were students. And we all thoroughly enjoyed what we could never imagine to be possible back home in Germany: consuming your own beverages while enjoying the delicacies of distant asian countries.

Someone please explain to me why this system has not been adopted in Germany yet - you save money *and* you know what kind of drink you get. I guess there is some sort of law against it. With bevvies getting more and more expensive on the continent, I can see this becoming normal practice.

There is the "corkage" though... a fee for opening bottles on the premises - and it feels almost like a rip-off. There is you, bringing all these bottles and then somone still charges you for merely opening them ! Also, there are restaurants which do not allow you to bring beer, but are happy with wine.

All in all, "Bring-your-own-bottle" gets top marks from me. Lets hope for the german students that they might find a loop hole in gastronomy legislation.

Karneval in Germany

Oh it's that time of the year again. From today until next week Wednesday (Ash Wednesday), Aachen, my hometown is just going bonkers. Duesseldorf, Cologne and numerous other cities follow suit. Working life almost comes to a stand still and thousands of "Narren" drink, celebrate and sing in the streets, bars and cafes. Oh, and did I say there is lots of drinking?

Luckily, I managed to escape all this frivolity and ran off a long while ago to a place at the Kilt Equator.

Mix it, baby !

To me, separate water faucets are amongst the most annoying things a foreigner can find in the UK. My 2002-built house even has 4 of them and all you can do is either scauld your hands or wash them with freezing cold water. This article sheds some light on it. Apparently it all goes back to Churchill....

Germanizer

German radio world service Deutsche Welle World now offers the Germanizer service - a site which can help you instantly to become more german. - Caution ! Humour !

Posted by Michael at 06:17 PM

Linkable